I’ve been trying to get this Jim Morrison drawing done for class, in less than 24 hours. Although it looks good, I was supposed to be in class at 1, and I decided to wait until 3 to hand it in. It’s 2 o clock, and I decided to try and get some sleep because I haven’t really slept more than 4 hours in the past 48 hours. I couldn’t even control myself to stop bawling the minute I laid down. I tried to come down stairs, but I just collapsed in the kitchen. I don’t know how much of this I can take. I only had one person… and now I’m not supposed to be in contact with her, my entire being is shattered and in shambles, and I can’t keep on doing this, I need to drink, or smoke or anything to make me numb. I don’t want to spend the next few weeks crying on my kitchen floor. I don’t know why or how this happened… But I know I can be strong enough to build a relationship, I just don’t think I have the capacity to use any of that strength to see one deteriorate. I am crushed, physically, emotionally, and psychologically. I need help, and the councelling didn’t cut it. Nothing is. It’s been 2 days and they say time is going to help. They aren’t feeling what my heart is. I wouldn’t mind switching places with Jim right about now, cause atleast he’d be high on any type of drug there is.